I am right at home with topics such as death, suicide, and such. (No I am not suicidal-I love my life) I know what it feels like to be at the bottom and looking upward for some thing to cling onto. I know what it feels like to be spiraling out of control and just barely grasping enough sanity to try to hang on. I can relate to these poets. Their poetry makes me happy, makes me think. At the present time, I am going through a very painful divorce, painful because I do not want it, but it just may be what is best for me. Who knows? I am slowly getting through it and my depression doesn't help, but these wonderful poets do, they remind me of everything good in my life, which honestly speaking is quite alot.
I look at each day as the beginning of my life and I make the best of it. I especially like Dickinson's "I Could Not Stop for Death" because it reminds me of how short life really is and that we are not promised another day- live each day like it is your last! (One day it will be and I need to make the most I can out of each day!) Another poem I really like by Poe is "Alone"- I like the lines which read: My sorrow-I could not awaken/My heart to joy at the same tone--And all I lov'd-I'd lov'd alone--
My favorite poet of the three is Sylvia Plath (who did commit suicide). Her poem "Lady Lazarus" is a wonderful, self-revealing poem. She tells of her previous suicide attempts. She compares herself to a cat having nine times to die. I like the following stanza: Dying/ Is an art, like everything else./ I do it exceptionally well. I do too, everyday, I take it as yesterday as being dead and to be reborn everyday. I feel as though I understand what she is feeling but on a different level. I have gone through two divorces, and have "died" many times, in between. Life goes on and I look forward to each new day!
Sylvia Plath
Numb
Numb,
but I hurt
Heart
bleeds,
Spinning
in circles
Brain
racing-won't stop;
on
the verge of insanity.
Numb,
but I feel.
Heart,
aches, is heavy;
turning
to stone.
Hate
the lies,
the
deception.
Damn
the numbness-
making
me crazy.
Nothing
is happy.
Days
are dark.
To
smile now,
would
be to die.
So
numb-
can't
touch happiness.
This a poem I wrote during a particularly depressed time in my life, I wrote it about eight years ago. I am thankful, for it is the season of Thanksgiving, that this poem is no longer me.
Hey, J!
ReplyDeleteThought I'd pop in over here to see what you were up to. I am so glad that I did. I think maybe I really needed to read your latest post.
Just a year ago, I, too, was going through a painful divorce. And as recent as today, I had a complete meltdown that shook me to my core.
The personal nature of your post and the way you related those feelings to poetry reminded me of yet another I love about literature:
Often times, we feel so very alone. Sobbing into a Kleenex, you think you're the only person going through this. But many times, I've grabbed a book only to discover that its writer has been there, too. Suddenly, my problems seem a little more manageable; the world becomes a little less lonely.
I think you understand my point.
And, just in case, you need to hear it: You are totally not alone...
My warmest regards to you!
Oh, and PS. I also LOVE Poe and Plath... I particularly like when S.P. gets a little angry! Her writing is some of the most expressive I've ever read!
ReplyDeleteThank you Ashley for the words of encouragement. It means so much to me to have support through this most difficult time.
ReplyDeleteP.S. I like the anger too!
Wow, did I write this? With a few exceptions, it feels like I did! You hit the nail on the head when you said how reading Dickinson, Poe, and Plath makes you happy. They just resonate with me in a way nature and brighter topics never will. Poe is my personal favorite, as he introduced me to the others. When you're in a dark place, it's hard to get back into the light. I'm glad you found an outlook on life that pushes you in the right direction! Keep pushing forward.
ReplyDelete